


Where He Belongs

by asherkoyal



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Father Figures, Father-Son Relationship, Honestly this shit was hard as fuck to write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2020-12-27 14:09:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21120065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asherkoyal/pseuds/asherkoyal
Summary: Everything has exactly the same outcome after Endgame, except Tony survived the snap. However, coming back after five years of being away, Peter is still trying to adjust to the changes, despite the fact that he feels like he doesn't belong.





	1. Scared

Peter has felt out of sorts since his snap back into existence. As he described his experience to Tony, it felt as though he must’ve passed out. But after the whole Thanos business was dealt with and that purple scrotum looking alien turned to dust, Tony explained in extreme depth about what had happened to Peter.

Peter had died in Tony’s arms, turned to dust, and was absent from the world for 5 whole years. And in that time, Peter discovered, Tony had somewhat moved on. He and Pepper were married, they have a house on a lake and together have the most adorable little daughter, Morgan.

Make no mistake, Peter absolutely adores Morgan, and vice versa. The two are often together in the living room watching cartoons in the early hours of the morning. There have been plenty of times where Pepper has come down the stairs from her and Tony’s bedroom to find Peter and Morgan wrapped up in a plethora of blankets and pillows, the TV silently playing and illuminating the two sleeping faces.

But now, Peter is alive and breathing but often feels slightly off or not all there. Tony explained this feeling to him as well, it would take a little while to get back into things, afterall - Peter had been dead for the past 5 years. He would just have to wait it out for a small amount of time to feel back to normal.

What Peter hadn’t told Tony, however, was the recurring nightmare that he had been having every night since the drastic battle. Every time Peter closed his eyes, he saw the same scene drag out as it haunts him every single night.

_Peter is fighting off an alien dog. Webbing, punching, kicking, jumping - doing everything he can to put this thing down. He gets one dog down, but another appears and it is the same cycle over and over again. Until, the dog he is fighting turns to dust, as do the rest of the alien species._

_Peter watches all of the alien army fall onto the ground in a pile of dust and ash. There is ash in the wind, blowing around the decay of Thanos’ army. Peter looks around puzzled, he doesn’t know what is happening._

_And then he sees him. His mentor. His father figure. He sees Tony sitting on the ground, propped up against what was left of the Avengers compound. Peter’s heart skips a beat and he makes his way towards the man he has admired for so long. As he swings closer to Tony, he can see the make-shift gauntlet on Tony’s right hand, as well as the right side of his face, and he looks awful. Just to make matters worse, his spidey-sense kicks in and he can hear Tony’s heartbeat. Or lack thereof. Tony was dying. And fast._

_“Mr. Stark,” Peter sidles up next to Tony. “Hey, Mr. Stark?”_

_Peter can see recognition in Tony’s eyes, but no words come out of his wounded mouth._

_“Can you hear me?” Peter’s throat starts to close up. “I-it’s Peter.”_

_Still no response from Tony. Tears streaming down the spider’s cheeks._

_“Hey...we won. Mr. Stark,” Peter forces a smile onto his dirty face. “Mr. Stark. We won...you did it sir. You did it.” Peter fully drops to his knees and places his small hand on top of Tony’s arc reactor. Openly crying, loudly sobbing._

_“I’m sorry, Tony” Peter sobs out. And as he’s crying, he hears Tony’s heart beat for the last time, and the white light from his chest dims to nothing, eyes blanking as life leaves him. _

Peter is afraid of closing his eyes. He can’t bring himself to fall asleep, for fear of having to watch his mentor die over and over again. Over the past weeks, Peter has gained extremely dark circles under his eyes and has become a lot more pale than his usual pigment. He continuously reassures Pepper and Tony that everything is fine, and nothing is wrong. He doesn’t want to burden them with his problems.

\-------------------

On a crisp afternoon, Pepper has dragged Peter out of bed to sit on the porch out the front of the lake house and get some much needed fresh air. Here, Peter sits on a very comfortable outdoor lounger and watches the very domestic scene in front of him.

Peter observes from his spot on the porch as Morgan holds a stick and chases Tony around on the grass. Tony is playfully yelling at Morgan to stop running at him with the stick, whilst Morgan screeches with glee when she gets near Tony with the stick.

Tony then turns around, yielding his own stick, and starts to run after Morgan. The little Stark screams with delight as her father catches her around the waist and hoists her up into the air, safely landing Tony’s arms.

Peter softly smiles at the scene in front of him. He loves to see Tony so happy, mostly because Peter has never seen Tony so completely content. However, the thought wipes the smile off of the spider-boy’s face as the small idea of a happy Tony snowballs into a full-blown mentalization of how Tony was rarely happy when Peter was around.

The teenager couldn’t stop himself from slipping deeper into this image of how much stress, pain and worry he has caused the older man. Peter continued to stare blankly into thin air, reliving the negative aspects that he has brought into Tony’s life.

“Hey kid!” Peter was brought out of his trance by Tony’s distant voice. “Are you just going to sit there all day like a lump, or are you gonna come and join us?” Peter hears Morgan laugh in that gleeful high pitch way she always does when her father makes a joke.

Peter knows Tony meant this in the most sincere way, but Peter could not stop the tears from forming in his eyes. Before he let the wetness slip from his eyes, Peter jumps out of the deck chair he’s been sat in and runs back inside. Finally letting the tears glide down his cheeks as he makes his way back up the stairs and into his severely empty room.


	2. Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's up with Peter?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's been a while. haven't had inspiration to carry this on.

Peter doesn’t know what to do. He knows he overreacted downstairs with Tony and Morgan, but he can’t take it back now. Currently sat on his queen sized bed, thanks to Tony’s insistence of an upgrade from his twin bed back in Queens, Peter fell into a deep pit of over analysing his seemingly innocent actions.

“Why did I do that? I shouldn’t have done that? I can’t believe I did that, after everything Mr Stark has done for me. This is so stupid…” Peter mutters to himself as he falls onto his back, staring at the blank ceiling.

Meanwhile, Tony remains downstairs slightly baffled by the sudden turn of events. One minute he was playing with Morgan and enjoying the sun, and then the next he’s watching Peter abruptly stand from his position on the lounger. And Tony’s smug smile immediately fell from his face as he saw the back of the teenager rush inside.

“Daddy? Why does Peter not want to play with us?” Morgan’s voice innocently breaks the trance Tony was put in.

Tony looks down at his daughter, still holding her stick in her hand, but now with a pout on her face as she stares down at the grass at her feet.

“Maybe he’s just tired.” Tony says, all jokes put aside.

“Daddy?” Morgan tugs on Tony’s hand.

“What’s up kiddo?” Tony says while swooping Morgan up into his arms as they make their way back towards the house.

“Do you cry when you’re tired? Does mommy?” Morgan utters lowly, resting her head on her father’s shoulder.

Tony slows his walk slightly, reacting to Morgan’s out of the blue question. Hugging her closer, he walks up the stairs of the porch towards the back door that he’d seen Peter escape through.

“Why would you say that?” He inquisitively asked.

“Because Peter was crying, and you said that he’s tired. So does that mean you cry when you’re tired?” Morgan quips, as if the question holds no weight whatsoever.

“You’re a little smart ass, huh?” Tony smiles, but not reaching his eyes.

“What’s a smart ass?” Morgan shouts just a little too loudly as they both walk inside the door.

“A what?!” A sophisticated woman’s voice sounds from another room.

Tony puts Morgan down on her feet, and raises his index finger to his mouth in a ‘shush’ motion with a slight smirk on his face.

“Nothing, dearest!” Tony yelled back, a giggling Morgan by his side.

Tony looks up towards the tall blonde that had just entered the kitchen, with a very unimpressed look on her face. She walks towards the fridge and retrieves a platter of meats and vegetables, and sets them beside a large basket of bread rolls and bread slices.

“You two go clean yourselves up, we’re having a late lunch. Oh, and Tony can you go and grab Peter as well.” Pepper says with a knowing gleam in her eyes pointed towards Tony. With a nod, the greying billionaire and his little mini-me go off to complete their given tasks.

\---------------------//---------------------//---------------------//---------------------//---------------------//-------

Peter had only just finished wiping the last of his tears away from his eyes, when he hears a quiet and hesitant knocking on his door. He doesn’t move off of his bed. Once again knocking was echoed throughout his bedroom.

“Kid? You in there?” Tony’s voices, sounding muffled through the door.

Peter doesn’t respond, and Tony’s worries become acute. With Peter’s silence, Tony sighs loudly and rests his head on the door.

“Peter? Pete, I’m coming in.” And with a turn of the handle, Tony pushes open the wooden door to find the teenage boy laying across his bed; with his steel eyes not glancing away from the ceiling.

Tony slowly steps through the doorway and into Peter’s room, peering around the room to find a few articles of clothing on the floor and a couple of books peeking out from underneathe his bed. Gently, Tony slides his way over to Peter’s bed and simply plants himself on the end.

Peter has not yet acknowledged Tony’s presence, and this makes Tony miss the days where the kid was always excited to see him and work in the labs with him. Tony’s eyes take in Peter’s frame and calmly places a hand on the boy’s foot, in a most fatherly kind of way.

“What’s up, kiddo?” Tony says, voice just over a whisper.

Peter slowly drags his foot away from the older man’s grasp, readjusting his position so that his back is towards Tony and is laying in the fetal position.

“Nothing.” He murmurs.

“Yeah, right. And I’m the Queen of England,” Tony tried to joke, but no retort from Peter, “Pete, what’s going on?”

“Nothing.” Peter lies.

Tony takes a deep breath and releases as a large sigh, rubbing his calloused hands over his face in minor frustration.

“Okay. Well, lunch is downstairs and I suggest you get down there before Pep comes up here and drags you by the ears.” Tony conveys.

With nothing but a small grunt in reply, Tony moves to stand from the bed and glides towards the bedroom door. But before leaving the room, he turns to face the young man and catches the red in his eyes and the bags underneath. Morgan was right, Tony thought, he had been crying. And with that knowledge, something deep inside Tony’s heart broke and he could feel himself begin to unravel with a need to somehow reassure the kid.

“Hey, kid. Peter,” Tony starts but Peter turns his back again, “I...You...are...Never mind. Just get downstairs ASAP.” And with those last words, Tony makes his way out of the bedroom and silently curses himself for not going through with the whole support spiel.

Tony slowly makes his way back down the stairs, taking a little bit longer than usual. Hoping that Peter would come out of his room and join him on the rest of the trip down. But the door to Peter’s bedroom did not open, Peter did not step out, or join Tony on the stairs. Tony took one last glance at the door with a sort of agony that tore at his heart strings and finally turned his head away.

“FRIDAY, no need to respond, but keep an eye out for Peter.” Tony says, making the rest of his trip into the dining room area where his wife, child, lunch and two empty places were waiting at the table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> continue???


	3. Eavesdrop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter eavesdrops onto a conversation he wasn't meant to hear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry. it's been a while i know. but i didn't have any motivation to carry on this or any other fic. ha.

Ten minutes had passed and Peter was still positioned in the fetal pose on his bed. The feeling of guilt emancipated throughout his body, knowing that Pepper had prepared lunch for the 4 of them. Slowly, and ever so hesitantly, Peter rose off of his bed; putting both feet on the ground, willing himself to stand up. With the little energy he had left, the teenage boy pushed himself into a standing stance. He patiently waited for the nausea, from standing up after laying down for a long time, to pass.

Silently, Peter made his way to his bedroom door; his hand pausing slightly over the door knob, with the thought of the Stark family waiting at the table to have lunch. Softly, Peter opened his bedroom door and made his way towards the stairs down to the lounge area. Carefully he took each step down the staircase with utmost caution. As he reached the bottom step, Peter made his way to the kitchen entrance but paused, before opening the door, at the sound of muffled voices.

“I don’t understand. Am I not doing enough?” A muffled male voice says. Peter takes a step back, but not leaving, deciding to eavesdrop on the adult’s conversation.

“Tony, you’ve done more than enough for him. I think he just needs a bit more time to readjust to everything he’s missed out on.” A female voiced replied.

“Pep, I have given him so much time to readjust. How much longer does he need?” A moment of silence between the two adults and one teenager behind the closed door.

“Sometimes I wish his aunt had survived the attack, and he’d still be with her. I know it’s horrible, but when he stays in his room all day and barely talks to any of us...it’s hard for me to not think that.” With that, Peter had heard enough and quickly made his way back up the stairs.

“Tony, I promise. Give him a bit more time. It’ll be worth it in the end.” Pepper says, with her soothing and calming tone.

Tony sighs, “I just want my smart ass, know-it-all kid back.” He says, sounding all sorts of defeated. He slowly makes his way back to the dining room where Morgan waits for him and her lunch.

Walking into the dining room, Tony sees a gleaming Morgan at the table ready to have lunch. He makes his way over to his spot at the table and waits for Pepper to bring in the sandwiches he had tried to steal in the kitchen. Tony, once again, glanced at Morgan who was happily in her own little world playing with little action figures she had placed on the table. Tony couldn’t help but stare at her, and thank whoever was responsible for giving him a chance to be the father he knew he could be.

“Here we go! BLT for Mr. Stark and a ham and cheese sandwich for Ms. Stark.” Pepper announces, breaking whatever trance Tony had been in.

As Pepper walks back into the kitchen, Tony and Morgan both look at their respective sandwiches, then at each other. A knowing look on both of their faces were evident as they both knew what the other was thinking, and so they quickly switch plates before Pepper comes back into the dining room carrying another two plates, presumably one for her and one for Peter. 

“So, Ms. Stark,” Tony says, mouth full of ham, cheese, and bread, “How about I take you and Peter onto the lake and do some fishing?”

“Yes please! But daddy we have to throw the fish back because it’s not nice to keep them” Morgan utters with a piece of tomato hanging from her chin.

“Of course, Morgan.” Tony smiles.

The three starks all eat in relative silence, not uncomfortable just a nice quiet lull while they all tuck into their sandwiches. Tony and Morgan finish their sandwiches first, and fall into a conversation about the stick monsters that are currently in Morgan’s play tent. Pepper smiles from behind her half eaten sandwich as she watches the two most important things in her life natter away at complete nonsense.

“And then the stick king came into the tent and demanded that it was his new castle! I tried to kick him out but he got his stick knights…” Morgan continued to ramble on about the stick monsters, when out of the corner of Tony’s eye, he saw Pepper looking at him with a somber look on her face.

Tony fully looked over to Pepper, all while still actively listening to Morgan, and noticed that her eyes darted over to Peter’s untouched sandwich and back to Tony. Tony gave her a small nod and went back to his gripping conversation with Morgan, which had turned into a whole war of her against the stick army.

About 20 minutes have passed and Morgan had been through the entire course of the war against her and the stick monsters, as well as dipping into another story about the time that she had to make new homes for her fairy friends out of the destroyed stick army. Tony and Pepper had listened intently to their daughter and found the whole thing quite hilarious. Then out of nowhere, Morgan jumped up out of her seat and ran to the living room where the rest of her figurines laid on the floor.

“You know, that imagination of hers is something else.” Pepper said, clearing the plates from the table.

“Yeah I wonder where she gets it from.” Tony smirked, knowing fully well that his daughter inherited his wild imagination.

Pepper just rolls her eyes and takes the dirty plates into the kitchen, while Tony watches her disappear behind the door with a small smile. Once she is out of sight, Tony glances towards Peter’s untouched sandwich and sighs deeply.

“FRIDAY, status on the kid?” Tony leans back in his chair waiting for a response from the A.I. No reply comes back.

“FRIDAY? You there?” Tony scrunches his eyebrows in confusion, waiting for the female voice to fill his ears. Yet no sound comes from the installed speakers around the house. Tony sighs yet again and stands from the table, pushing back his chair slightly annoyed.

“Pep! I’ll be in the office if you need me!”

“Okay! Keep an eye on Morgan please.” Pepper yells back from behind the door.

Tony slowly makes his way toward the back of the house, nearing the shared office between him and Pepper. Before he gets to the spacious office, he spots Morgan laying on her front playing with her self made figurines on the carpet.

Stepping into the office, he leaves the door open and makes his way towards the table in the middle of the office. He quickly brings up a hologram onto the table, and searches for an answer as to why FRIDAY wasn’t replying to him.

Finally after a couple minutes of searching for an answer, a red error pops up in front of Tony that read ‘FRIDAY: DISABLED’. Tony furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and a little bit of annoyance as he works his way to enable FRIDAY once again, not remembering ever disabling her in the first place.

With a press of a few buttons and a swipe her and there, the red error disappeared and a green light illuminated the room with the message ‘FRIDAY: ENABLED’. Tony released a breath of air out from his mouth and sat down in the nearest chair.

“Nice to have you back, FRIDAY.”

“Thank you, Mr. Stark.” The A.I. acknowledged.

“How did you become disabled? I don’t remember putting you in down mode. Or was Morgan here playing with a bunch of buttons again?” Tony rambled.

“No, sir. It appears that I was shut down from another room in the house. Unaware of which one.” FRIDAY stated to Tony.

“Huh. That’s awfully peculiar. We could either have an intruder or…” Tony stopped. The cogs turning inside his genius mind. Lightbulb.

“Shit. FRIDAY, do you know how long you were deactivated?” Tony says, worry etching its way into his tone.

“If my calculations are correct, I was disabled for 45 minutes.”

“Oh god! What is the status on Peter?” Tony says, the anxious feeling in his stomach rises to his throat.

“Mr Parker seems to not be in his room, sir.” Tony’s eyes widen at the words that he’s just heard. His stomach feeling like it has dropped 50 feet.

Tony runs through the house to make his way up the stairs, ignoring Pepper’s confused face as she watches him from the living room sofa, climb up the stairs and barge his way into the teenager’s room.

Chest heaving and his breathing slightly more quicker than usual, he looks around the room and Peter is nowhere to be found. Tony takes a couple of steps into the bedroom. Peter isn’t lying on his bed, or sitting at his desk, or even squatting on the ceiling. The teenager’s room is just a bare room, with no teenager in it.

Pepper and Morgan are now behind him, looking just as worried and puzzled. Tony glances around again, hoping that the kid would magically reappear onto his bed. Then he spots a small piece of paper situated on top of a pillow on his bed. Tony reaches forward for it and opens it up.

_ **‘Tony,** _

_ **I’m sorry. I don’t belong here. I wish my aunt hadn’t died too. Thanks for putting up with me.** _

_ **Peter (Parker)’** _

As he read the words written on the bit of paper, Tony could feel his heart being ripped from his body and being stomped on repeatedly. His legs giving out under him, he sits on Peter’s bed, feeling the cold underneath him. He looks up at Pepper with tears in his eyes.

“He’s gone.”


	4. Remorse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What will Peter find?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to popular demand I have resumed the story. This chapter is kind of a filler but not a filler...if that makes sense. Anyway, I hope I don't fuck this story up by resurrecting it.

Peter looked up at the large building in front of him. Matter of fact, he’d been standing there for well over 15 minutes. Just staring at his old building, the one he lived in with Aunt May. Peter stood on the pavement in front of the front doors for that period of time, willing himself to go in.

He knew that the apartment was empty. Tony had told him that he had been paying their rent for the past 5 years, but when Peter asked why the billionaire had done so, Tony shrugged it off not giving the younger boy a proper answer. But right at this moment, Peter couldn’t muster up enough strength to enter the building.

“Come on, Peter. Just go inside.” He whispered to himself, attempting to build up enough courage.

He takes in a deep breath, and calmly exhales trying to rid himself of the fear of what would be inside the apartment. Jumping on the spot for a few seconds, as if warming up for a sprint race, he finally takes those much needed steps forward and approaches the front door. Reaching forward, he turns the knob and the door opens immediately.

Peter smirks at this, that door to his building has never been fixed in his entire life of living there. Pushing the door open, he steps into the foyer, not taking any changes he climbs the steps to his aunt’s apartment floor, quickly, as to not let himself change his mind.

He finally reaches his floor and slows down his pace. He pants a little, not quite out of breath but tired enough to have his chest heave up and down. Inhale. Exhale. Slowly he approaches the apartment door. Peter digs out his keys from the pocket of his jacket, inserting the correct key into the keyhole.

Inhale. Exhale.

“It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay…” Peter mumbles under his breath as he swings the door open.

The door bangs on the wall behind it, and Peter gently takes on step inside. Peter is only slightly disappointed to see that the apartment was pretty much the same as he and Aunt May left it, minus a little mess here and there. He cautiously enters the apartment even more, and shuts the door behind him.

He enters the living room and notices that the coffee table is positioned differently, but that was the only major change of that room. Peter walks towards his bedroom, and enters with a little bit of hesitation. He finds that it hasn’t changed. It is exactly how he left it the day he skipped out on his school field trip to go fight aliens.

“She never touched my room.” Peter says to himself, choking up at the thought of his aunt not being able to bring herself to touch his room.

He knows he shouldn’t. He knows it’s a bad idea. He knows that it would be invading her privacy. But he goes ahead with it anyway.

Peter makes his way over to his aunt’s bedroom, and gently opens her bedroom door. It’s a mess. The bed is unmade, there’s clothes all over the floor, and there are tissues littering the night stand next to her bed.

The sight is too much for Peter to handle and he goes to turn towards the door for a quick escape, except something catches his eye that he finds somewhat peculiar. A video camera sat on the pillow at the top of the bed.

Quickly, he walks over to the edge of the bed and grabs the discarded camera and makes his way out of the bedroom and shuts the door behind him. Peter finally lets go of a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He inspects the camera and finds that there is no battery in it, and begins his search for one.

After scoping out the rest of the apartment, he finally finds a camera battery in one of the many draws where things were dumped and forgotten about. Walking back towards the living room, he places himself on the sofa and finds it quite cold. Fair enough, he thinks, there hasn’t been anyone here for a while.

“See what happens when I do...this.” Peter speaks to the emptiness of the apartment, shoving the battery into the camera and flicking the on button.

The camera comes to life, the viewfinder displaying what the camera is focussed on in the apartment. Peter pans across the room, playing around with the camera. He then switches modes from recording to playback, and what he finds brings tears to his eyes.

There are a large number of videos displayed on the viewfinder, all with just May. Peter scrolls through them all and finds the video that his aunt took the day of his field trip. He hesitantly selects the video and is met with his own voice.

_“May!! I gotta go! I’m gonna be super late!”_

_“I wanna record this special moment! Don’t ruin it for me!”_

At the sound of May’s voice, Peter finally let the tears roll down his face. He knew what words were coming next, he wasn’t prepared.

_“May, come on why do you have to record it?!”_

_“Because, I want physical evidence that it happened and so I can bring it up whenever I want. Now say it!”_

_“Ugh! Fine! May Parker is the ultimate Dance Dance Revolution player in the entire world.”_

_“And…”_

_“Argh! And I will bow down to her amazing dance moves forever. Happy?!”_

_“Immensely! Now give me a kiss on the cheek and get to the train.”_

_“You’re impossible, Aunt May. Love you!!”_

_“Love ya, Pete!! Enjoy your trip and I’ll see you when you get home tonight.”_

_“Bye!”_

The screen of the viewfinder cuts back to the menu of the playback mode and Peter is left with tear stained cheeks and a sore heart. His sobs are uncontrollable as he puts the video camera down and buries his face in his hands.

“I’m so sorry, May.” Peter sobs out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment about anything I can do better or how you felt after this chapter. Thanks!


	5. Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pretty much a very painful filler.

_“I haven’t seen you for 3 weeks…”_

_..._

_“It’s been 7 months without you…”_

_..._

_“Today is exactly a year without you…”_

_..._

_“I think it has been 1 year and 5 months…”_

_…_

_“2 years without you…”_

_…_

Peter had submitted himself to watching these videos of his aunt for the past 3 days, since he found the camera. He wanted to hammer them all out in one go, but he could only manage 3 or 4 a day because listening to his aunt speak about her loneliness and how difficult life was for her was too much for Peter.

There was no going back after Peter clicked play on the first video. May was pale and her eyes had dark circles under them, as if she hadn’t slept at all. Unfortunately it didn't get all that much better as Peter watched the videos. May seemed to get skinnier as the videos progressed, and a lot more pale. Much to his dismay, Peter clicked on the next video, May’s face appearing in the viewfinder.

_“It has been 2 years, 6 months and 3 days since you disappeared.”_

_May sighs. _

_“Stark has been visiting once a month. He has been paying the rent for this place, even though I ask him not to. Stubborn-ass. His daughter is the cutest little human being though. He brings her with him when he visits. I think he does it because he wants to fill the void you left in my life.”_

_May looks off into the distance._

_“I can’t walk into your room. I open the door, and I stand at the entry just staring at the mess you left the day you...you...disappeared.”_

_She looks down at her lap. She’s holding a piece of paper in her hand._

_“Pete, I’m sick. Tony knows. He’s trying to help me, and I can’t thank him enough. I know he’s been paying the rent for this place. Peter, I have stage 4 chronic lymphocytic leukemia. I can feel myself slipping away. I’m trying my best to hold on, for the hope that I’ll see you again, but I don’t know how much longer I can last.”_

The video cuts off there. May’s face no longer on the screen. Peter was unable to tear his eyes away from the video camera’s viewfinder. There was one video left, and Peter was dreading to watch it. But he needed to. He needed the closure.

With a deep sigh and a wipe of his hand across his face to rid himself of the new tear streaks on his cheeks, Peter presses the final video and clicks play.

May sits on a hospital bed, in a pale gown that almost matches her skin tone.

_“Hi Peter.” She smiles weakly._

_“As you can probably tell, I’m no longer in our living room. Tony has me set up in this swanky private hospital. Rich people, huh?” May chuckles lowly, causing a mini coughing episode._

_May reaches over to her bedside table and grabs a tissue, and wipes her mouth. Crumpling the tissue in her hand, she looks back at the camera._

_“It’s been 2 years and 10 months since I last saw you. Almost 3 years. You would’ve been 20 years old. Ain’t that strange?”_

_May pauses and stares at something behind the camera before composing herself as best she could to mutter the next sentence._

_“I’m sorry, Peter. I tried to stay around as long as possible. But I’m so tired. The chemo isn’t helping. The doctors here have given me a rough timeline of the time I have left, they think about 2 weeks. But this will be my last video to you.”_

_Another coughing fit erupts from May, this time a bit more intense and a little longer. Once again, May uses the tissue in her hand to wipe her mouth._

_“If you ever get the chance to see these, which I highly doubt, I don’t want you to see me like that. I want you to at least remember me as somewhat lively.” She chuckles again, another coughing fit._

_“Ms. Parker, you need to be resting.” A voice from behind the camera says._

_“Give me a minute please. Just one more minute.” May pleads. There is a sigh from the unknown voice, and then the sound of a door opening and closing._

_“Okay, Pete. I have to go now. But I want you to know that I love you so much. I miss you every single day you’re gone and I wish I could have stayed around for just a bit longer. If you see this, and I am hoping with my entire heart and soul that you will, know that you will forever be in my heart.” May speaks so softly, it’s almost inaudible._

_“Bye, Peter. I love you so much.” With one final smile, the video cuts to black._

Peter stares blankly at the empty screen. He wants to scream, cry, sob, yell in anger, but he doesn’t. He just stares at the camera, void of any emotion. He hadn’t noticed, but it had started to rain. The water hitting the windows, the only sound echoing throughout the apartment.

Almost like he has been turned to automatic, he switches the video camera off and places it on the coffee table in front of him. He moves into a position where his feet are up on one end of the sofa, and his head on the other, and stares at the ceiling, silently wishing to be taken from this cruel world.

Peter takes in a deep breath, and closes his eyes. Exhaling, trying to rid himself of the pain and hurt that he feels inside, he relaxes his entire body and listens to the rain droplets desperately trying to lul himself to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this caused me a lot of pain to write this.


End file.
